The Life I've Always Wanted
by meg121
Summary: AU. A New Girl comes to THHS and finds a friend and a role model in Haley. What happens when her desire to fit in and be accepted becomes frightening.
1. A Fresh Start

Disclaimer: I do not own the show or the characters

This is AU. Set during their senior year of High School

Chapter One   
A Fresh Start 

September 6th 2005

"Here goes nothing," said Emma King as she shut her front door and walked towards the sidewalk that would lead her to school. It was the same sidewalk that was leading everyone else back to school after a much-enjoyed summer, but to Emma King, it was different.

It was a different sidewalk, in front of a different house, that led her to a different school, in a different town. And Emma couldn't be less happy about it.

She had been content in her old home. Maybe not always happy, but content. She had liked her old house. She had liked her old town. She had even liked her old school, despite having to wear the blue kilt and white blouse uniform everyday.

She felt that the uniform helped her blend in. Made her feel the same as everyone else, and kept people from judging you by the clothes that you wore. Everyone was just there to learn.

That was what she liked to do at school. Learn. She was the smart girl.

She had liked her old friends. She may not have had many, and they may not have been that close but they were still her friends. The only ones she had ever had.

It was the summer before her senior year of high school when she lost all the 'olds' that she had liked so much. The 'olds' that she never realized how much she liked them until they were gone.

It was only a week into summer vacation when it happened. An unseasonably rainy Wednesday morning for that time of year. Her father, Andrew King, was at work as usual. Work was his home away from home. Or more accurately, home was his home away from work. His small but quickly growing self-owned business was everything to him, and he spent much of his time there. During those rare days when he wasn't at the office, he wasn't much fun, as he was as serious as they came.

Her mother, Rose King, was a more of a free spirit. Sometimes Emma wondered what her parents ever saw in each other, as they were so different. Her mother had always responded to that question by saying "dear, haven't you ever heard that opposites attract". That day Rose, who was a part time nurse, had the morning off. She was on her way to the supermarket, when she got in a car accident. Witnesses say that when she got to the end of the road, she just kept driving. Doctor's say it was a severe aneurysm. No warning and nothing that could be done.

It was three days after the funeral that her father sat her down and told her they were moving. He gave her many reasons to convince her it was the best for both of them, but not were sufficient. She knew it would be hard to stay here, but at least that way they would have people to support them. She knew the real reason was that her father had never liked living in their small town. It was where her mother grew up so it was important to her that they lived there, near her family. Now that she was gone he thought there was no reason to stay. He thought nothing about the fact that this was where Emma had grown up as well, and that it may be important to her as well.

They were settled in their new house by the end of July. It was a simple house. Two bedrooms, two bathrooms, and enough space for both of them to live comfortably. Simple was an understatement when it came to the decorating though. Everything was white, the walls, the carpets, the curtains, the trim, the appliances, the cabinets and the countertop. Her mother would have hated it. Her mother loved colour, and had filled their old home with flair. No matter how much Emma used to tell her mother she would prefer a simpler home to the array of colours she had used, the copious amounts of colour used in their new house was enough to make her sick.

The rest of her summer had been uneventful. She had met no new friends and had no contact with her old ones. She spent most of her time at home, going through old photo albums from when she was younger. From when they were a family. Before she knew it, back to school was upon her and she prepared for her last year of high school alone.

She had found her way to the local mall, and with the money her dad had thrown at her, she had managed to buy some new outfits for school. Buying outfits was so new to her. Having to wear the uniform at her old school had enabled to get by on just having a few articles of clothing to wear on weekends and such. She supposed it was just another 'new' thing she was going to have to get used to, but she found it very overwhelming. There were so many things to choose from, and she didn't know which outfits would be 'acceptable' to wear at her new school. As much as she hated herself for it, she cared way too much what people thought about her.

Before she knew it, the first day of school had arrived and she was walking on that same sidewalk hoping for, as her father put it, 'a fresh start'.

As she looked up from her sidewalk-crack counting, she realized she had arrived at her destination. She knew exactly where she was. One indication was the voices of perky students growing louder all around her. But the main reason was because she had walked here so many times over the last month to rid herself of her internal fear of getting lost that she knew exactly how many cracks there were from her house to her school.

"No turning back now" she told herself as she quickly straightened her shirt and fixed her hair. She walked towards the front door and read the sign that was put out for students: WELCOME TO TREE HILL HIGH SCHOOL.

As she grabbed the door handle and went to open the door, she said to herself for the second time that morning "Here goes nothing".


	2. Living Life on the Sidelines

Chapter Two

Living Life on the Sidelines

As she walked through the door, she was overwhelmed by the amount of students already inside. There was still twenty more minutes before the bell rang and she was surprised this many people were so punctual.

When she registered for this school a few weeks back, she was told that she would be given her schedule in Homeroom, and that you could find your homeroom on a list of names on the wall near the office.

Her concern now was finding her way to that list, as she for the life of her couldn't remember where the office was. After a few minutes of racking her brain to remember and pushing through teenagers that just wouldn't seem to move, she found a group of people huddled near the wall.

Assuming that this was it she pushed through another herd of people she made it to the wall only to hit another obstacle. The wall was filled with at least 30 sheets of paper. "Why cant they just give us our timetable in the mail like they did at my old school" she asked herself.

Five minutes and 17 homeroom lists later, she found one with her name on it. English with Mrs. Jenkins in room 211.

As she repeated that in her head as if it were a mantra, she moved her way back out of the crowd of people. She followed the numbers on the doors until she found 211. She walked in to find it with only a few people.

"At least I can get my seat" she told herself.

She went for the same seat she always aimed for. Second from the back by the window. The window would be her entertainment during a boring lecture. And the location would benefit her, as it would keep her out of the teacher's line of fire when she was looking for volunteers. Or so experience had shown her at her old school.

After she had taken her seat she watched the door to see who would be in her class. No one that interesting had walked through the door yet, and no one had sat beside her, or approached her at all. She didn't mind all that much though. She hated being the center of attention. The entire week before school had started she had had nightmares about the teacher making her get up infront of the class and introduce herself.

Minutes later, the final bell rang. At this point the teacher got up from behind her desk and began to introduce herself to the class. She was an older lady, probably in her mid-forties, with short graying brown hair and small glasses.

"Hello All, for those of you who don't know, I'm Mrs. Jenkins" she said in her thick English accent.

As if on que, the door opened again, and a very tall and handsome dark haired boy walked in. "Well he's not bad" she thought to herself.

"Nathan Scott, how nice of you to join us" Said Mrs. Jenkins, interrupting her thoughts.

'Nathan Scott' she thought as she repeated the name in her head 'has a nice ring to it'

"Im sorry Mrs. J., Basketball meeting ran late, can't you cut me some slack, it's the first day!" he replied.

'Basketball meeting, Probably like every other jock I know... a cocky self-centered ass.' She thought to herself. 'He's still not hard on the eyes though'.

"I'll let you off today, but you know how I feel about tardiness. Do not let it happen again." Mrs. Jenkins lectured.

"Thanks Mrs. J. "replied Nathan as he took a seat next to the girl seated in front of Emma. She didn't remember seeing that girl come in. She was very pretty.

As she watched Nathan, Mrs. Jenkins got started on a lecture about the importance of punctuality. 'Nathan and this girl must be together' she thought as she watched him shift his chair next to hers and take her hand in hers.

'Probably some stupid cheerleader' she presumed.

About 10 minutes later, Mrs. Jenkins was finished discussing the rules of the class and began to discuss the first assignment. Surprising as it was to Emma, this pretty girl seated in front of her seemed to know what she was talking about. She seemed to have the answers to any question she was asked.

Soon enough the day was over, but it had felt like an eternity to Emma. Class after class she sat through listening to the teachers repeat the same 'rules of the classroom' over and over again. The pretty girl, whose name she had learned to be Haley James, was in two of her other classes. She was continually surprised by Haley's knowledge. She had certainly misjudged her.

After gathering her books from her locker, she let out a sigh of relief. Her first day was over and she had successfully managed to avoid being the center of attention. All she could hope for was that every day would be the same.

As she was heading out to leave for the day, and embark on her reversed sidewalk-crack counting, she lost her footing on the front step. All of her books flew from her hands and she fell forward landing on her knees. "Sht!" she cried out 'so much for not being noticed'.

'"Oh, are you okay?"

She looked up to see Haley James kneeling down beside her gathering up the books that had flown from her hands.

"Oh, yea I think I'll live" she answered as she took her books from Haley "Thanks"

"Oh no problem. Aren't you the new girl? From my English class?"

"Yea, just moved here, My names Emma"

"Im Haley"

"Well thanks for your help Haley," she said as she dusted herself off and tried to regain some composure. "I better be going"

"Of course. Well it was nice meeting you Emma, see you tomorrow"

"Bye"

"Bye

Emma turned and walked home; only this time she did not count the cracks. Her head remained up and for the first time since her mom died, she smiled.


	3. Acceptance

Chapter Three

Acceptance

September 7th 2005

She didn't know where she got the courage. In her old school, she never put herself on the line, even for something as little and simple as this. The next day at school however, she noticed Haley sitting in the library. Slowly and timidly she approached the table and asked to join.

"Hey Emma, of course, sit down" Haley cheerily answered.

"You remembered my name!" This surprised Emma and another smile crept its way onto her face. People she had been to school with for years didn't even know her name, so it was hard to believe that someone would remember her after one encounter.

"As much as I would like to impress you with my marvellous memory, I can't lie. We don't get many new kids around here, so it's hard to forget one when they come." Haley admitted "It's understandable though, I mean no offence, but why would anyone want to move here, its boring!"

After snickering at Haley's comment - another first for her - Emma replied "I'm sure it's not that bad, I mean you are on the water here, that's got to be nice"

"True" Haley answered after thinking about the statement, "Being on the water is great, but you can only do that so much!"

Emma again laughed at Haley's wit; she seemed to fell entirely comfortable in her presence. "Maybe your right" she replied.

"So where are you from?" Haley questioned, "Which great city did you leave for Tree Hill?"

"I doubt you'd call it a great city, in fact I wouldn't consider it a city at all. More of a town." Emma responded. It was usually hard for her to think of her old life, because memories of her mother would flood back, but for some reason, the reminiscing wasn't upsetting her. Although she really didn't know Haley that well, she felt comfortable enough around her to share. She continued on describing where she was from, and the rest of her life story, as Haley intently listened. She didn't remember the last time she had had a conversation as personal as this one, but she enjoyed having someone listening to her without feeling judged.

When she got to the part of her life story with her mothers passing, Haley stopped her.

"Hey, I didn't mean to pry, you don't have to continue if you don't want to tell me, I won't be offended" Haley sympathetically said.

"No, I don't mind. Actually I think I need to talk about it, I haven't done much talking since everything." Emma replied as she went on.

Before long, the bell had rung and their spare was over. They had by then moved on to lighter subjects, and the bell was only interrupting their laughing.

"Looks like its time to go, what class do you have next?" Haley asked as she packed up her books and slipped them in her bag.

"Umm...." said Emma as she pulled out her timetable and skimmed to the part she was looking for. "Seems like I got lunch now"

"Really, that's great, same as me! Come on" Haley replied as she led Emma out of the library and through the halls. The halls were swarmed with people, many of which all had the same destination in mind. They follow the herd as they parade towards the cafeteria for their long awaited lunch, like Pavlov's dog salivating at the sound of the bell After a brief stop at their lockers, they reached the cafeteria.

As they entered the cafeteria, she was overwhelmed. It was so much more chaotic than what she was used to. Her head darted back and forth trying to take everything in. Her observations were interrupted when Haley once again dragged her through the herds of people.

"Hey everyone, this is Emma, she's new here" Haley said to the group of people already seated at the table as her and Emma took a seat next to them "Emma this is everyone"

"Hi" Emma said as she looked around the group.

"Nice to meet you Emma, I'm Brooke" the dark-haired girl in a cheerleaders outfit said as she offered her hand "I'm a friend of Tutorgirl's"

"Tutorgirl?" Emma questioned as she shook Brooke hand.

"I guess she didn't mention her nickname to you, that's what we all call her"

Emma watched as Haley rolled her eyes at this "not everyone. Its more of a 'Brooke' thing, you can just call me Haley"

The introduction went around the table and she met Lucas, Peyton, Nathan, and Tim. She recognized Nathan from the day before, but she never mentioned it.

"Hey, where's Jake" questioned Haley as she looked around the caf.

"Jake? Who's Jake?" Emma asked, still confused by meeting so many new people.

"Jake... is Peyton's Boyfriend" Haley began as she helpfully pointed on the curly-haired blonde for me understanding that I had most likely forgotten "who," she continued "is apparently not here"

"Jake's got a custody hearing today," Peyton said silently as she stirred her fork through the mush on her plate. "Apparently Nikki's got a good chance of partial custody"

"Oh Pey, I'm sorry. This must be hard on you" Haley sympathetically said before turning to Emma and whispering "I'll explain later" in her ear.

"Well isn't that impressive" Haley said, sarcasm dripping from her every word in an attempt to change the subject. She picked up a clump of her lunch, which stuck to the fork like a child's tongue to a cold winter pole. "An entire summer off, and our amazing caf ladies couldn't learn to make decent pasta"

"Just so you know, As hard as it is to believe, it looks better than it tastes" the dirty blonde haired boy warned as he stirred through his own meal.

"Well I don't feel like getting a stomach ache" Haley responded as she pushed her plate away from her.

The rest of lunch was filled with minor gossip exchange and small talk getting Emma acquainted with everyone. Most were very talkative, exchanging information between themselves and her, in attempt to make her feel welcome. As welcome and included as everyone tried to make her feel, she still felt herself watching Haley. She seemed so happy and carefree, and Emma longed to be able to feel that way. To not feel insecure, and to not feel like she had to watch the way she acted in order to be accepted. She studied the way Haley talked, the way she acted, and the very way she carried herself. She felt a twinge of jealousy as she watched Nathan brush a piece of Haley's silky brown hair from her face and kiss her on the cheek. She yearned for someone like that.

Before she knew it, lunch was over. She got up and followed the flock of people shuffling through the doors and on with the rest of the day.

AN: Please R&R. More will happen in the next chapter.


	4. Things in Common

Hello all, I'm sorry I haven't updated lately, but I've been really busy. I also didn't know if anyone was reading this, so if you are please let me know.

Chapter Four

Things in Common

September 9th 2005

Friday had finally arrived and the last day of the first week of school was upon them. School had not yet begun, and students were slowing pouring into the school. Haley, who was always early for school, arrived with thirty minutes to spare. Today was one of the few days she did not have early morning tutoring sessions, so she was actually at school much later than usual. Though most of the school, including much of the staff, chose to arrive right as the first bell rang, she was still there early. She enjoyed getting to school before everyone else. She never understood why, nor did any of her friends who all fell into the last minute category, because she spent most of her early time without anything to do.

When Nathan and her had started dating, and he would give her a ride to school, he always complained, and could never comprehend the reason for getting to school so early. It made sense to him when he had an early morning practice, or when they actually did have a tutoring session, but 'just because' used to bewilder him. She never had a justified excuse though, and would always respond with some excuse about having things to do and people to talk to, when in all honesty she just liked to be early. Over the time that they had been together, he had given up complaining and questioning her about it, and came to take it as just one of her quirks. He even came to enjoy the fact that their 'morning greetings' to each other were not stopped by someone complaining about too much PDA.

That was why is was so surprising for Haley, as she walked hand in hand with Nathan through the empty halls as they did everyday, to find someone standing at her locker. That someone was Emma.

Haley stopped a few feet away before speaking, "Emma, is that you?"

Emma turned around, brushing away the strands of blonde hair that fell in front her face and answered shyly, "Oh hey Haley... and Nathan" adding the last part in a mumble.

"What are you doing here so early?" Haley pondered, "and at my locker"

"Umm, I don't know really, I guess it just didn't take me as long to get here as I expected. I knew you got here early everyday, so I came to your locker, I guess hoping to find you so I wouldn't have to hang out alone. I hope that's okay"

"Oh yeah that's fine, I just wasn't expecting to see anyone this early, since there's no practice today" Haley answered trying to lighten up the saddened look that had just appeared on Emma's face. "How long have you been here for alone anyways"

"Oh, not that long, maybe 10 minutes" Emma replied sheepishly "but I had some teachers to talk to"

"I hate to interrupt" Nathan spoke "But I'm going to go see if Whitey is here, I wanted to talk to him. I'll catch you later Haley, bye Emma"

"Wait Nathan" Haley said as she grabbed Nathan's arm before he walked off "Listen Emma, I'll talk to you later okay, but I was actually heading towards the gym anyways, so I've got to go. I'll see you in English though okay"

"Yah okay" Emma replied Sadly "See you in English".

After they were out of Emma's hearing range, Haley spoke up "Why did you say you had to talk to Whitey, you know he's not here yet?"

"I was just trying to give you guys some time, I didn't want to be a part of any 'girl talk'" Nathan responded

"Girl Talk? We were talking about what time she got to school, that hardly constitutes as Girl Talk"

"Okay fine, I was uncomfortable, you know I hate small talk." He admitted "Besides, she looked really lonely, like she needed a friend, and you two seem to have a lot in common, so I was being generous, and was going to let her share you for a bit, "he added teasingly.

"Well wasn't that sweet of you, but when did you suddenly own me?" she responded jokingly as she playfully punched him in the arm.

"You know I didn't mean it that way. I just mean I was trying to be nice, letting you hang out with her this morning, even though we ritually spend the morning by your locker, if you know what I mean"

"Oh, I know what you mean" she said kissing him lightly and leading him down another more deserted hallway "But what makes you think I don't want to spend my morning with you?" She asked before stopping and leaning against another locker, and kissing him again "I happen to like our little ritual"

"well I'm glad" he responded as he moved in towards her and kissed her back

They were interrupted by the sound of a herd of people heading towards them.

"Looks like the buses have arrived" Nathan sighed, as if defeated.

"Don't worry, there's still lunchtime" Haley said in reference to another of their rituals. At lunch sometimes, they would go to the dock, where they used to have their tutoring sessions, and have lunch by the water.

"I'm holding you to that"

"Hey what did you mean when you said that Emma and I had a lot in common, I mean we, especially you, don't know much about her yet. She barely talks at all in front of many people. How does she remind you of me?" Haley wondered.

"I don't know really, she just does." He said "she was at school early too, I don't know many other people who willingly come to school early, just because"

"So shes punctual, are you saying that's a bad thing?" she joked

"No, no, its other stuff to though"

"Like what?"

"Well...She wears her hair like you do – almost everyday so far, that's kinda weird actually, it's like she watches you do your hair, than does it the exact same. "

"What are you talking about?"

"I don't know, just like today, you wear yours in that half up half down thingy and so does she, yesterday you both had a ponytail with a flower in your hair, the day before that was the same as well."

"That's probably just a coincidence, I mean everyone does their hair the same. Since when do you notice girls hair anyway?" she teased.

"Oh please, listening to you, Brooke and Peyton all the time, I think I am liked trained to notice these things"

"Oh whatever, we aren't that bad"

."I seem to remember a twenty minute long discussion yesterday that poses otherwise"

"What are you talking about"

"Oh how did it go again...'_Peyton does my Hair look okay?' ' Yah just pull this piece down in front, it will frame your face better.' _And then there was '_Oh My God, did you see Paige Steven's hair yet, I cant believe she dyed it that colour, it totally does not match her skin tone' _"He mimicked

"Please, like basketball talk is any better, don't get me started on having to listen to you Luke and the guys talking. We all have our burdens to carry in that area"

"Okay, your right"

"That's better" she responded before kissing him once more and taking his hand and leading through the halls.

"Where are we going?" he asked

"To class"

"But it hasn't started yet!"

"Did you not just here the bell ring"

"The bell just rang?"

" I think you need your ears checked, now come on, I don't want to be late"

They arrived in class on time and found their seats untaken. What was strange was that Emma's seat was still empty as well. Haley thought it strange that one would come to school that early but still have a hard time getting to class that early, especially since she was the first one in class everyday so far. But seconds later Emma walked in the door. She looked upset; Her eyes were red and cross looking. She came and took her seat behind Haley, flashing her a forced smile as she walked by.

* * *

Hope you liked this chapter, once again, please review!


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